This week I was able to experience two events, Albanian style. The first of these was a visit to an Albanian
home to celebrate a birthday. It is
considered rude if you don’t stop by to visit someone on their birthday. Phone calls and Facebook posts do not count
in this culture; you are expected to visit in person. The boys and I walked down into the village, bearing
a gift for the six year old girl. When
we arrived, we were invited into the house (sans shoes) and led to the sitting
area. Because I was the oldest, I was
given a certain chair to sit in. The
boys had to sit on the couch. We were
then given homemade plum juice to drink, as well as some berries in sugar water
to eat. While the birthday girl sat on a
chair nearby, the adults engaged in small talk.
The hostess then brought out slices of cake for the boys and me to eat. To my horror, the birthday girl had to sit
there and watch us eat her cake. Her
birthday gift sat right in front of her on the coffee table, untouched. We were expected to eat the birthday cake;
but not all of it. We had to leave a
small bit uneaten on the plate. I’m not
sure of the reasoning behind this. Not
every guest who visits receives cake; the family was honoring us by allowing us
to eat some of their cake. After we had
finished, we went outside where our hosts loaded up a bag full of fruit from
their trees and grapevines for us to take home to enjoy. We then left and walked back home. Only after we were gone, was the little girl allowed
to open her gift. As we were walking
home, the boys explained to me that there are a lot of established protocols
concerning celebrations and visitations.
Hopefully, we didn’t do anything to cause insult while we were there.
Having toured extensively throughout Europe and Nepal for
the past two years, I understand about cultural differences, especially when it
comes to personal space and standing in lines.
There is no concept of personal space in Albania. Period.
When someone greets you, it is not a handshake or simple greeting that
comes your way. Nope. You get warmly embraced and air-kissed on each side
of your face and their hands linger on your arms as they make sure that you are
“shum mir” (very well). For introverts
like me, it is quite shocking to have to carry on a conversation with someone
else’s face just mere inches from yours.
Also, the concept of standing in lines is quite simply not understood in
Albania. It doesn’t matter where you
are, if you want something, you go directly to the person that you want to talk
to and you interrupt whatever they are doing----even if they are talking with
or conducting a money transaction with someone else. I cannot recount how many times I have been
checking out groceries in the store and someone comes up and breaks in while the
cashier is ringing my items up on the cash register. There are no lines; you simply push your way
towards the front until you get what you need.
Both of these things—no personal space and the incomprehension of lines---played
out during the other event I was able to experience this week, which was a
buffet held at my church.
The Church held a lunch buffet to celebrate the opening of
their new church building. As I made my
way to the end of the buffet table, everyone was grabbing at the plates at the
same time. Continually, men were wedging
themselves between me and the person in front of me. Mind you, I know how to close the gap and I
was touching more of the person in front of me than I am comfortable admitting
to touching. I really have no idea how
these men were shoving themselves between us.
The man who was behind me was pushing me even further into the person in
front of me—which I didn’t think was even possible at first. Finally when two teenage boys tried to “cut
in”, the man behind me lost his patience and intervened by pushing the
teenagers’ heads and telling them to wait.
After doing this, the man behind me helpfully pushed me down the buffet
line. He was trying to be helpful and I
am grateful for his assistance in stopping the flow of men who were jamming themselves
into the line. I must say that this was
the most physical experience I have ever had while attempting to get my
lunch. I think I shall beg off the next
time I am invited to an Albanian buffet.
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| The birthday girl! |
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| The walk home from the village. |
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| This is their courtyard. It is one of the prettiest places I've seen in Albania. |
