Hello friends!
The events of this past year have forced me to reflect, reconsider, and transform my life. When my spouse decided that he would rather be with a drug addict than to be with me, it forced me to reevaluate every aspect of my life. No, this is not going to be a forum in which I bludgeon my ex. Quite the opposite. I have learned tremendously from this horrible experience and it has proven to be the catalyst propelling me to make overdue changes in my life. I actually owe my ex-husband a debt of gratitude. Let me explain.
Over the years, it seems I have had the weight of the world on my shoulders. I have given myself wholeheartedly to my jobs, my husbands, and my family. It wore me down, physically and emotionally. Working two to three jobs at a time will do that. So does being a widow...and a single mom...and a divorcee....and a cancer survivor. And then the person who promised he'd be there for me forever decided I wasn't worth staying around for. Ouch. My self-esteem died a very painful death this year. This forced me to make accept some harsh realities. My priorities changed very quickly. It also ignited a desire in me to change. My faith in God grew expotentially as I realized I cannot control most of the things that happen in this world. I let go. I let go of my insecurities, my judgements, and my expectations. I took time to be still. For several months I stopped "being". I became a hermit in my 10 x 13 bedroom. Eventually I came to the realization that I needed to change everything.
Within the next month I will be fifty years old. Most people view this age as the beginning of being over the hill. Not me. This is the start of a brand, new life for me. For starters, I am resigning from the best job I have ever had. I have LOVED showing up to work at the theater every day. The other managers and the crew are a second family to me. I will miss seeing them and laughing with them every day. I have decided to follow a lifelong passion of mine for helping other people. I will be going on mission trips throughout the world starting in early summer. The details are still in flux, but Alaska, Nepal, India, and Honduras are on the list. I will be working with orphanages throughout the world helping with the care of the children and with the improvement of agricultural practices. Assignments are based on the length of time my visa allows in each country. (Yes, I know Alaska isn't a foreign country.) I am very excited to embark on this adventure. If it weren't for the pain of this past year, I wouldn't be experiencing this opportunity in my life. In the end, I owe my ex a huge thank you. Because of the events of the past year, I am now fortunate to be able to follow my heart. I will keep you posted on my escapades during my travels.
Called or not, God is there
